Monday, December 21, 2009

To My Grown Up Son

Years ago, when Tye was very little, Mom gave me a copy of this poem. The other day I was going through some boxes of old pictures and found it. I thought that, since my grown up son was going to get married and move to Alberta, this might be a good time to share it.

My hands were busy through the day
I didn't have much time to play
the little games you asked me to.
I didn't have much time for you.

I'd wash your hands, I'd sew and cook,
but when you'd bring your picture book
and ask me, please to share your fun.
I'd say, "A little later, Son."

I'd tuck you in all safe at night.
I'd hear your prayers; turn out the light.
Then tiptoe softly to the door.
I wish I'd stayed a minute more.

For life is short. The years rush past.
A little boy grows up so fast.
No longer is he at your side,
his precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away.
There are no longer games to play.
No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear.
That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands, once busy, now are still.
The days are long and hard to fill.
I wish I could go back and do
the little things you asked me to.

This poem is full of regret and sadness, which is contrary to my life with my kids. As many of you, who have known me all my life, I didn't spend a lot of time caring for my house when my kids were young. I can remember many days of playing board games and reading to my boys. I think I read "What's The Matter With Job?" 55 times in a row to Jack. I still can recite the whole story by heart. If you doubt me, just ask me someday. We also played a lot of "hide and seek" in the dark, inside the house and out. My neighbour used to complain that we were screaming all the time and it hurt her cats' ears. It also made our dog, Katy, bark like crazy.
So even though this poem is not completely true, I do have some regrets about the time I spent, or didn't spend, with my kids. For all of Jack's childhood, I was either a student or I worked, which meant he was in daycare. If I had been married, things may have been different, but I think if you asked either one of them, they had a pretty good childhood. I guess I just am feeling a little nostalgic today.


footsack said...

I can relate. I feel the same way most times. Don't look back. You can only change today. Regret will rob you of the joy you can have today if you let it.
I do too much of it too! Hope to see you later for coffee :)

The Davies Bunch said...

I do love you!!!

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angel collado ruiz said...

El poema es bello, a pesar de las malas traducciones, se lee el sentido y me ha hecho meditar sobre los hijos.
Dios ponga mucho amor en sus vidas,
Dios los cuide y bendiga . Un saludo desde México.

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Anoop Mathai Mathew said...

Heartfelt emotions from a Mother.
Don't regret about the yesteryears you've lost, but look forward and live upon the future years that you've got. Do you have more poetry in store? I write poems too.

Breezy said...

This hit home today. My son is one. I think I needed to hear this. Thank YOu!

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